Mid-Semester Report

It’s Thursday once again and just like the annual sun rise each morning I am here to deliver my magnificent rays of judgment. The NCAA tournament started today, but that’s a story for next week in which I will detail how my bracket is dominating the tennis team like a despot in a diamond rich country. This week is a time to sit back and reflect on everything I have done so far this year; a mid-semester report card of sorts. I’ve written a number of blog posts in the past few months and now it’s time to check on the progress of all my endeavors.

I started the year off by talking about my NewYear’s Resolutions which included having lucid dreams and accomplishing a free standing hand-stand pushup. If we look at the past 3 weeks I can confidently state that I have attempted… excuse me just a second…………………….Okay, if we include the pushup I just attempted I’ve done one. All right, so I’ve been slacking on this one a little bit. That puts me on par with approximately 100% of you and your New Year’s Resolutions. Right now you’re on a 2 month sabbatical from that diet you started 2 ½ months ago, most likely telling yourself that if you’re going to die from a coronary clogged induced heart explosion, then by-God you’re going to die well fed (read: fat) and happy.

I’m taking the other tact, “well, I’m really busy right now sitting in front of this computer and all. Maybe I’ll have time when summer comes around.” That’s right, you (and me) just keep putting that one thing off for just a bit longer. I’m sure soon we’ll have more time. We’re not going to be like those previous generations who always made plans to accomplish things in life but just never had time. I’m sure I’ll get all those bucket list items accomplished someday. It’ll just take a while. The problem right now is a lot of my friends are getting married and I’m doing my thing here in Iowa and soon they’re going to start having kids and that’s a big part of your life you know? And the younger generation, well, they just don’t want to hear it. Everything is electronic this and digital that. Just try getting a word in with a pseudo-zombie obsessed with tweeting a picture of the latest cute thing their cat did; all with a pair of headphones in no less. Next thing you know you’re sitting at home thinking about the words you never said and how you wish you could do it all over again.” I miss you. Even when I’m with you”.… What’s that? What are we talking about again? Okay yeah, I haven’t tried a hand stand pushup in a while.

It's been so long

Well, moving on. I have somewhat kept up with my other resolution of the dream journal to incite lucid dreams. Full disclosure: the lucid dreams have not happened yet, but I am keeping up with the dream journal in a half-hazard fashion. The one problem I have is I’ll often have a crazy/weird/awesome dream in the middle of the night and then wake up at 4am. At this point I have two choices: I can a) fully awaken myself and write the dream down or b) go back to sleep and write everything down when I get up later. Of course, after I go back to sleep I forget everything about the dream and end up writing nothing down. Why is a dream journal so complicated! Right now I rely on the rock-solid method of hoping the last dream of the night is a good one and it ends right as I wake up to my alarm.

If you want to entertain yourself, keep a dream journal and then periodically go back and read some of the things you’ve written down. Here’s a sample from my own journal on February 26^th, “I was a coach and in the military. Mike White [Coe VP] was my superior and was going to transfer me to help with his research on bullets. The gun powder was bad and looked like crushed red pepper. I talked to Mark Kroll on the way back to my apartment about his improving game. Someone was cleaning my apartment when I got back.” Why is that my dream? Is there something wrong with this dream or is that normal? Do most people have dreams that make no sense?

If you keep a dream journal, you too can be tormented by increasingly paranoid thoughts about your abnormalities. I recommend it wholeheartedly.

I can hear my dreams. They're plotting against me

Earlier this year I detailed my weekly Wendesday doubles match paired with Tom Jennings against the number 1 doubles team of Noah Sprinkel and Curtis Newman. I am sad to report that I was on the losing end of the match on Wednesday. Interestingly enough, even though we lost on Wednesday we still have the overall advantage in wins but we’re actually trailing in number of sets won. As of now, Noah and Curtis have won 7 sets while me and Tom have won 5. I’m going to chock this up to a couple of wily veterans figuring out a way to win. Either that or I’ll just ignore the illogical implications of this mathematical conundrum the same way I did in high school math class, “Oh God, she’s writing numbers on the board again! Quick, shut down all thinking and pretend it’s not real! Blah blah blah blah”

Not listening. Not listening

The other story of note involves the GameShow Network. This week was a light one for watching as annoying things like school and tennis are starting to demand more time. Luckily we got in a few marathon sessions before leaving for Florida on spring break. The day before leaving we watched 6 hours of Family Feud (no that is not a typo, 6 hours!). This probably beats the old world record by a good 6 hours. That much Family Feud is unhealthy, trust me. They should put up a disclaimer for the dozen of people watching the show that Family Feud will lead to worthless-human-being syndrome. It’s apparently affecting millions of people already.

Tune in next week for some March Madness talk.