The Craziest Thing Ever

October 2013 has certainly been a crazy month. The US government went offline, somehow the Grand Canyon was closed, healthcare websites are crashing like the Giants season, and it’s not even Halloween yet. On Tuesday I saw what has got to be the craziest thing that has happened in the whole month of October. While riding my bike to the school on Tuesday I got snowed on. I want that to sink in. Snowed on.

It was pretty much like this give or take a few feet

It may have not looked exactly like that, and there may have been zero accumulation – if we’re being factual then there was no accumulation – but that isn’t the point. Snow in October is not just unwelcome, or crazy, it is in fact an abomination! This may seem like a bit of overkill or hyperbole just to prove my point. I can assure you it is neither. October is supposed to be a fall month where the weather starts cooling and we’re treated to grand vistas of turning leaves. So what if this isn’t New England, I’ve been robbed of a very important season of my life! I know it’s important because I just said so in the last sentence which must make it true. Thank you very much Old Man Winter. I bet you’re just upset you couldn’t register for health care meaning you’ll never get rid of your cold and are just trying to give it to everyone else out of spite.

Also have I mentioned my caffeine intake has increased dramatically lately? I’m sure that has nothing to do with my shaky hands or jitteryness or my free-flowing rage at the weather – that last one has been present for years. I was afraid I would get more paranoid about crazy weather conspiracies because of this lifestyle change, but I put those thoughts to rest while I was on my back porch screaming at the illuminati. It was here, while trying to catch my breath, that I knew October snow is the craziest thing to befall us in my lifetime.

Crazier than this?

Just think about it. Snow is white, there is fairy tale character named Snow White, Snow White hangs out with a bunch of dwarves, dwarves are heavily featured in Peter Jackson’s new movie The Hobbit, The Hobbit was filmed in New Zealand, and New Zealand is in spring right now and thus has much nicer weather than us. This can lead to only one conclusion: New Zealand has figured out how to control the weather and is making their weather seem much nicer to help their tourism industry. It makes sense if you don’t think too hard. I know it may seem like I pulled that crazy idea out of nowhere, but you can just add that to the many crazy things that have happened this month.

Now, I have seen a lot of crazy things. I saw in the Matrix that Neo is the One, I saw Skyfall grossed over One Billion dollars worldwide, I even saw October Sky where rockets were falling everywhere. But even one flake of snow falling from the sky in October? That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever seen.