Bike Ride

I enjoy working out. That statement shouldn’t surprise anyone that knows me. I like a variety of workouts: lifting weights, playing tennis, eating – I take all of these very seriously. In the past year I’ve become a much better runner and now look forward to my 10-12 mile runs on the weekends. I’ve even signed up for a Tough Mudder event in October (my 3^rd in two years) which is a 12 mile obstacle course. This probably sounds like the very definition of masochism, because it most definitely is.

I'm sure they're smiling underneath all the mud

In the course of my running, Coach Rodgers is an ever present force there telling me I’ll become a cyclist one day because I’m going to destroy my knees. Every mention of running by me is followed by a thoughtful look from Coach, a moment of silence, and a short statement explaining how I’m cuckold crazy and need to pick up biking. I like to think Coach dreams of a world with bike trails everywhere and knee replacement parts strung about the road like litter from all the poor, dumb runners in the world.

So, while continuing my running I am slowly working my way into the world of biking. This is obviously a difficult thing for me since its new and anything new is a case for awkwardness and anxiety. What am I supposed to do when I pass another cyclist? I know when running, you give a slight nod – maybe a wave if you’re feeling extra jovial – and they will do the same. With cycling I don’t know the expected social custom. Do I wave and take my hand off the bar? I’ll probably crash into them then and I know that’s not kosher. How about a nod? Sounds great except we’re on bikes and continually bobbing up-and-down anyways. From the reaction I usually get it’s a pretty solid conclusion that pretending I don’t exist is standard practice for greeting me in the northern hemisphere.

Yesterday, with all awkwardness in tow, I took the bike trail to Ely in search of The Retreat Coffee Shop. The Retreat was very cool; it's an old house that has been converted to a drinkery and eatery.

That's what I need in my place: a full service lunch menu

 It was an enjoyable ride mostly because I didn’t see too many other bikers out who would definitely ignore me. While riding I did have an important discovery which has changed my view of the Earth. I mean that literally. The Earth, the actual topography of the land, is stupid.  When riding you learn very quickly that uphills are an evil portent most likely summoned up from the darkest reaches of Hell. It’s being on  a bike that makes you finally appreciate your granddads stories about walking to school uphill both ways, because no matter what you think, it’s going to be uphill. This happens in Iowa where everything is supposedly flat, I can't imagine what deities you must have wronged for you to go riding in a mountainous state such as Colorado! I lovingly think of it as a Sisyphean struggle except Sisyphus clearly got more enjoyment from his task.

At least I'm not on a bike, that would really suck

When I reached the coffee shop I ordered up an Iced Caramel Latte, because I’m now full on addicted and hide my shame with a caffeine buzz. 

That's also a turkey and bacon Panini. Bacon: because we don’t want to be too healthy. You know how weird those people are!… they ride bikes in case you’re wondering.

Since I was the only customer I enjoyed my meal a great deal more than I probably should have. Afterwards I rode back to Coe to ponder all the recent life decisions I’ve made that have turned me into a coffee drinker and bike rider. I may never figure this one out.