First Post of 2013

It’s been a month since my last post and I know the only thing you wanted for Christmas was for me to start blogging again. Indeed you probably rolled this wish into a New Year’s resolution that stated you would exercise, eat right, and lay off the adult drinks until I started writing again. Well I’m here to say that lucky for you, this resolution will be just as short lived as all the others.  That’s right folks, this is my first blog post of 2013! So put up the treadmill and get out the donuts. Put the kids to bed and fire up the blender because we are back! We are back!

and we are getting Doug back!

I spent my semester break in my hometown of Vernon, Texas and I’m sure you want me to regale you with all the tales of my amazing ventures, so here goes. I got to Texas on December 17^th and flew back to Cedar Rapids on January 11^th…

Okay that’s about it. Unfortunately my hometown is the opposite of a large, exciting metropolis. It’s more like the Mecca of small-town-not-a-lot-to-do-boringness.

Since a two sentence paragraph over my Christmas experiences hardly justifies a blog post let’s talk about something else.

The Australian Open started this week and anyone worried that the break would make me soft in my judgment can rest easy once again. I am back and stronger than ever. Happily, I spent the entire semester break nurturing my disdain for all things affiliated with Andy Murray, Serena Williams, and Mary Carillo. “What’s that? They all breath air just like me? No! My body has betrayed me for 24 years now!” As you can see, I have distilled this righteous judgment to such high potency that withholding it from the world for any longer would probably be fatal.  

His blood judgment concentration was 1.5

 Lucky for me Mary Carillo has been nowhere in sight since ESPN and Tennis Channel are running the show, but I’m still getting a hefty dose of Shriver and Navratilova which when combined together can be just as detrimental to one’s health. However, in the spirit of love, let’s get right down to it and examine the odds of winning the tournament for my favorite players (Federer, Ferrer, and Baghdatis for the men and Stosur, Wozniacki, and Clijsters for the women).

Starting with the men, Federer always has a chance to win any tournament he’s entered in. Now some people will point out that he’s somewhat of an old man now at 31 years old with 2 kids and only 1 major in the last two years, but Federer would retort that he reached number 1 again last year and his greatest nemesis (Nadal) is absent from the draw. Also his contracts with Nike, Wilson, Gillette, Lindt, Mercedes, Rolex, and Net Jets says he’s better than you (this is all just hypothetical, I don’t know what he would say because I’ve never met the guy). Yeah, I'm sticking with my guy to win this tournament. I am in somewhat of a quagmire with my other two favorite players since Ferrer and Baghdatis play each other in the 3^rd round. After much soul searching (approximately 5 seconds) I have decided to go with Ferrer on this one. Ferrer has been incredibly consistent over the past few years, and he’s one of the few players in the top half of the draw who can push Djokovic. I am however going to take the over with Baghdatis and say he’s going to break more than 2 rackets.

The women are a bit of a different story since, apparently, all of my favorite women players don’t like winning anymore. Clijsters was selfish and retired last year. Something about family and having more kids. What about me Kim! Did you think about you’re adoring fan who watched you only when convenient and mostly just at grandslams!? This brings us to Caroline Wozniacki who, fortunately still looks good, but unfortunately is regressing in her tennis game like ice in the Arctic. She lost first round at both Wimbledon and the US Open last year and hadn’t won a match in 2012 before the start of the Australian Open this year. Wozniacki is still in the draw (barely) which is good enough for me. She’ll probably get to the quarterfinals where she will lose to the doubles duo of Azarenka and Azarenka’s screaming which hardly seems fair since it is a singles draw.

This brings us to Sam Stosur. It’s well known that Stosur doesn’t play well in her country’s home slam, but every year I trick myself into believing this Australian Open will be different. This year I was especially excited because the WTA allowed Stosur to play with a team consisting of herself and two superheroes

Thor is on the other side

During Stosur’s second round match she started out slow but managed to win the 2^nd set and get up 2 break in the final set. It was at this point, assured of victory, that I decided to go to bed. I’m a good fan like that. I woke up the next morning and checked Stosur’s final score and next opponent. “Let’s see she won the final set 5-7 so she’ll play. . . Wait! Whhaaatttttt???? Funny thing, it turns out Stosur didn’t win. Somehow she was able to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

Be sure to check back next week where we will go over New Year’s resolutions and crown a new favorite player to take over Kim Clijster’s place.